Since yesterday, the eyes of my understanding has been enlightened, so I decided to share … My thoughts about my son had become so very heavy on me for the past several months. I’d prayed, but I just couldn’t shake the spirit of heaviness. It’s been almost two years, since I’d seen him. This wasn’t the first time that he had left for years at a time. But this time, I’d decided that obviously God had His reasons for us to be apart and I just needed to be “ok” with that…. what I hadn’t realized was that I’d also decided that if/when he came back, there would be more drama and he would just leave again. I was tired of being brokenhearted.
God’s revelation for me started about a week ago, when I hear a church elder say that we are not experiencing God’s Fullness of Joy, because we are afraid to love deeply. We have become so guarded with our hearts and we just don’t want to be hurt again. However, we must understand that God is standing by ready to heal our broken heart, if we’d let him. He wants to restore many of our closest relationships, but He’s waiting on us.
With the help of the Holy Spirit, my son’s picture as a child showed me how vulnerable he used to me and he needed a mom. Although my son is grown, I’m still his mom and for me to be “ok”, I’d hardened my heart and given up on any hope of reconciliation and God’s Total Restoration. Today, God said to me, and possibly, to some of you too! …
A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26 KJV
And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.
Ezekiel 36:26 NLT
I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I do know that He can do the impossible, if only I believe, do my part and keep “Moving Forward by Faith”!
Finding Order in Chaos 
I pray for reconciliation between you and your son. I also have someone I desire reconciliation with only I was the one who messed up badly. Do you know what two scriptures I hold on to. The Stories of Jairus’s daughter and Lazurus both Jesus raised from the dead. With Jairus daughter those around Jairus told him your daughter is dead. Trouble not the master. In other words no need to pray for healing. It is too late. Jesus heard this and replied. Fear not. Believe only. I come to realize that we serve a God who specializes in raising dead things or things that appear to be dead. Also, understand that it is in God’s perfect timing. Not our own. The illustration of Jairus’s daughter can be found in Mark 5:22-42 The illustration of Lazurus in John 11.
Thanks so much! My daughter and I was just talking today about a message she’d heard recently using the same scripture reference of Jesus raising dead things. Much of last year, I was reminded often of the story of Jairus, but I held fast to verse 36, “Be not afraid, only believe”. I pray reconciliation for you, nothing is impossible for God. God’s forgiven you, now you need to forgive yourself…